From Survival to Purpose: How Motherhood Led Me Back to Myself

One of the most beautiful, life-altering gifts God has given me is the gift of motherhood.

I am a mother of four—two girls and two boys. And while I knew motherhood would be a journey of love, sacrifice, and responsibility, I didn’t anticipate just how deeply it would challenge and transform me.

When Love Felt Like Duty

In my earlier years as a mom, I poured everything I had into ensuring my children had what they needed—good schools, nutritious meals, safe shelter, and decent clothes. I worked hard to provide a life they could be proud of. And though that effort was good and necessary, something inside me still felt… empty.

Motherhood began to feel more like a duty than a joy.

There were days I would walk through the door completely exhausted, with nothing left to give emotionally. I’d go to bed feeling defeated, believing I had somehow fallen short again. Despite the love I had for my children, I felt disconnected—from them and from myself.

Something wasn’t right. Something was missing.

The Breaking Point—and the Turning Point

Eventually, the emotional weight became too heavy to carry. I began a journey inward—a search to understand what was truly going on inside me. I realized that I had absorbed so many “shoulds” and “should nots” about parenting and womanhood from society, culture, and even my own inner critic.

I cried. I prayed. I fasted. I wept.

But the sadness didn’t leave. My appetite disappeared, my sleep was disrupted, and I withdrew from the people I loved. It was more than burnout—it was depression. And what hurt the most was the feeling that I wasn’t able to give my children the best version of me.

So I made a choice that changed everything: I sought therapy.

The Journey Back to Me

Therapy became a safe space where I could be honest. I remember one particular session where my therapist asked me to do a SWOT analysis—not for a business, but for me.

What were my strengths?
What did I truly want?
What opportunities and resources were around me?
What had I believed that was holding me back?

That moment marked the beginning of a profound transformation.

I slowly began to rediscover who I was—not just as a mother, but as a woman. As an individual. As someone with purpose, identity, and dreams. And that process led me right back into the therapy room—but this time as a therapist, not a client.

A New Calling Emerged

Helping others discover their purpose and find healing became my passion. I returned to school, began speaking, coaching, and mentoring—this time from a place of experience, compassion, and renewed strength.

But this journey wasn’t without cost.

I lost comfort. I lost certain relationships. I faced seasons of isolation. Even areas of my life that once felt steady—like ministry and family—were shaken. But I chose to press on.

Why? Because I knew I was becoming the mother my children truly needed—a woman who is grounded, emotionally healthy, and aligned with her purpose.

My Parenting, Transformed

Today, my parenting has shifted. I no longer pray for my children to become what I desire. I now ask God to open my eyes to His plan for them. I’ve learned that I’m not here to control their future—I’m here to steward their journey with wisdom, love, and faith.

And that realization has changed everything.

To the Woman Who Feels Lost…

Maybe you’re a young mother silently struggling. Maybe you’re a professional woman balancing roles, expectations, and quiet exhaustion. Maybe you’ve lost your sense of identity under the weight of what life demands.

If that’s you, I want you to know: there is hope.

You are not alone.

You can heal.
You can rise.
You can rediscover who you are—both in God and within yourself.

Sometimes, we have to go down before we can rise up.
Sometimes, losing ourselves is the path to truly finding ourselves.

This is my story. And maybe, in some way, it’s also yours.

With love and purpose,
Lydiah
Therapist | Coach | Speaker | Mother | Healed & Healing